Bright Life - Really? (Warning - Old Age Material)

I am sure you have all seen the brochures.  They sneak into magazines - not Cleo or Style - but Gardening Australia or Patchwork Weekly.  You normally just chuck them out as junk and get on with reading the good stuff like Costa's road verge garden, or how to propagate with Jane.

I was in the loo (sorry, but it had to be done) and one of these brochures must have dropped out of the latest mag.  I had read the mag cover to cover, even all the little adverts in the back, and was in desperate need of reading material.  Here it was - the latest BrightLife catalogue.

I am guessing this is directed at the, ahh, elderly, as every second page had some product to do with incontinence.   Now I know this is not funny, I have had children too, but really ... trying to make it look sexy with these boxer shorts is just, well... you be the judge...

These boxer shorts are designed to look & feel like normal underwear but with a discreet absorbent pad. Features waterproof backing to prevent leakage & staining of clothing. 

Machine washable. (so glad they are, would hate to be dropping these off to the dry cleaners!)

Other clues as to the age demographics of this catalog are :


Pill Organiser Timer

Nothing like planning your day around drugs

Toilet Safety Rail

Not just for the frail, I could see when this would come in handy after a night out!

Ready Relief Bottle

....... or take it discreetly with you for any journey.  (Maybe if it wasn't bright RED, it would be a little more discrete)

If this is what old age is like - being obsessed with liquid expulsion, then I am scared.

So, when I came across this item, I was a little perplexed (or do I just have a really dirty mind?)

Personal Massager

Massage away stress and tension. Deep penetrating massage soothes aching muscles and helps stimulate circulation. For use on neck, shoulders, back – anywhere on your body.  Use at home, work, travelling.

I think I might get one of these and take it into my next work meeting and tell them I have a stiff neck.


Moving on.  

The item that made me laugh so hard (and remember I was in the LOO! so Mr K had every right to ask what the hell I was doing in there) was this one.  The description reads ...

Video Pen

It is so small and unobtrusive that it is perfect for conversations with your ex, vendor meetings, negotiations with salespeople and any situation where a big camera just won't do.

WTF?  Words fail me.

A Story of Seven Summers - Hilary Burden

A book review, with love. 

This book has been a kind of bittersweet affair - I have wanted to read it, but also not wanted to.  So, not one to believe in 'fate' or 'it was meant to be' - I picked this book up last Friday when Strawb and I had a girls day out that started at the match-made-in-heaven Bookcaffe.  After morning tea (which sad to say was ordinary, except for the chai latte) I could not walk out of a bookshop without at least buying one book.  There this book was, begging me to buy her.

Let me explain why this was bittersweet.  I first saw this book review in my favorite magazine Country Style.  I could just tell by the cover alone that it was my kind of book - one that would have me wishing for more in my life, wishing to be somewhere and someone else. Chooks, apples, basket of herbs, a veranda ... yep, my kind of book alright.  Reading the review and the words Tasmania and Writer popped up.  OK, this was becoming like my ultimate fantasy (well the one where I am skinny and rolling about in the hay with a long haired Brad Pitt isn't going to happen anytime soon, so I needed a back-up fantasy).

I wasn't so sure about the red shoes, they don't look they would be much use in a chicken pen, but hey, who am I to judge - it was someone else's biography.  Hilary Burden is actually a very down to earth, warm and talented writer.  She left a career in journalism in London to go back to her home state of Tasmania, buy an old run down farm house, called White Cottage, but what Hilary calls, The Nuns House, as it used to be inhabited by Nuns, to live and thrive on her own.

I love the way she writes with such candor, with a personality and light shone on everyday, ordinary things and places.  It was like I became one of her close neighbours or friends and shared everything with her.  And the bonus at the end of each chapter was a country style recipe. I am going to try each and every one starting with the lemonade as I have an abundance of lemons at the moment.

Although I loved the book, and read it in 2 days, I knew it would stir up feelings of deep longing and frustration that I want to live this lifestyle, but I am stuck where I am for the next 5 years at least.  I have always wanted to go to Tasmania, but I cant bear to go visit - knowing that I will love the place and have to make the tough decision to either come home, or give up my family, friends and life here in WA, to stay.

Mr K has made a joke of it for years, that he won't ever take me to Tassie.  He knows too, that my heart won't come back from there if I go.

So, if you have a stronger constitution than me, do read the book if you get the chance.  It's so well written, uniquely Australian and country.  Hilary has also started a fresh produce business, and this is her blog about it. 

Hilbarn

Thai marinated pork chops with chilli dressing - Makes Bob a Good Cook!

This recipe is the discovery of the year... what my Dad calls a real 'Keeper'  And this was the letter I sent into Delicious Magazine to explain why...

You know how they say you can’t teach old dogs new tricks?  Well my dad, along with my back catalogue of Delicious magazines is living proof you can!  I recently had my country parents come to stay with me in the city as my mum needed a hip replacement.  My dad was to take over the cooking duties for her when they got back home.  Doing a bit of homework, he came across my stash of Delicious magazines in my cookbook bookcase.  Each morning, at breakfast, he would read a new magazine, with accompanying yumms, and oohs and ‘oh this looks nice’.  He would carefully write out the list of ingredients of his chosen dish, periodically asking me what things like star anise or mascarpone was.  We would then go shopping, prepare the meal that night and a whole world of food and cooking and delight opened up to him.   When they got home, Dad ordered his own Delicious subscription, reworked the vegetable patch to include lots and lots of herbs and restocked the pantry!  My Mum is now well on the way to recovery and could take back the cooking reins but my Dad, the 75 year old, Old Dog, is having a ball.  So is my Mum!

Thai marinated pork chops with chilli dressing (<-- Original Recipe here)
Serves 4

4 eschalots, sliced
1 tbs grated ginger
2 garlic cloves, crushed
Handful coriander, including stems, coarsely chopped
2 tsp soy sauce
1 tbs fish sauce
1 tbs caster sugar
4 (about 200g each) pork cutlets
Olive oil, to brush
1 Lebanese cucumber, cut into chunks
Chilli dressing (recipe below) and mint leaves, to serve

1. Place eschalot, ginger, garlic, coriander, soy sauce, fish sauce, sugar, sea salt and pepper in a food processor and whiz to a paste. Transfer to a shallow, non-metallic dish and add the cutlets. Mix well, then cover and leave to marinate in the fridge for at least 15 minutes.
2. Preheat a barbecue or chargrill pan to medium-high heat and brush lightly with oil.
3. Grill cutlets for 3-4 minutes each side or until cooked to your liking.
4. Serve with cucumber, chilli dressing and mint leaves.

Chilli dressing
Serves 4

2 tbs rice wine vinegar
1 1/2 tbs caster sugar
1 tbs fish sauce
1 long red chilli, finely chopped
1 tbs thinly sliced spring onion
1/4 Lebanese cucumber, seeds removed, finely chopped

1. Place vinegar, sugar and fish sauce in a bowl and stir until sugar has dissolved.
2. Stir in chilli, spring onion and cucumber.

I have done this with lamb chops (Mr K's favorite), beef spare ribs and the pork.  All are equally scrumptious.  The Chilli dressing is also lovely over a salad or grilled vegetables.  Beware however ... once you have had this, you will never want to cook plain chops again!

Would love any feedback if you try it?

Hairdressers - no, not again!

I think I may be weird?!  Or at the very least, not normal.

My sympathies lie with the poodle

I HATE having to go to the hairdressers, beauty salon, nail parlor, day spa ... anything that involves the following I loath:

• Long hours sitting/lying still with bubbling brook or Enya music
• Wasting hours and hours of my time with tin foil in my hair
• Looking at myself in a mirror for hours as a pre-occupied hair 'sylist' looks at herself in the mirror at the same time - and if our eyes meet a pale, weak smile from both of us
• Having to endure inane chatter about the weather, what she/he/I did last weekend, the latest boyfriend/girlfriend or both
• Having to flick through stupid gossip magazines, or worse, Vogue - with blank looking twigs on the pages.
• Have the apprentice girl/guy make me really bad coffee and have to pretend its fine.
• Pay an absolute fortune to have my grey hairs covered, my split ends trimmed and be called 'darl.

This certainly would not be me - I can't smile like that in a salon!

 

So, I rarely have any 'beauty' treatments, other than a 6 weekly visit to the beautician to have my eyebrows whipper snippered, which is necessary so I can see.  My hair gets attention only 3 times a year ... and I have the brown/grey drag strip down my part line and split ends to prove it.  The only time I have ever had a manicure or pedicure was in Bali - and that was because my BFF told me I had to!

Today I had to go and buy shampoo (I do treat myself to the good stuff, but only because it does last much longer and helps my very bad split ends) from my usual hairdresser and my 'colourist' served me and asked when I was coming in to do something about the very obvious dark roots.  I had also been gently chastised by son #1 on the weekend for being such a mess, so I booked a three hour (yes three insufferable hours) session this Friday.  Jarad, my colourist, will cover the dark roots, add foils, and highlights, give me a 'treatment' complete with a hot towel and a scalp massage. Then my stylist, Laura, will trim, tutt how bad it is, shape, blow wave and mousse my hair into a boofy, silly 'do' that I will have to go back to my office wearing and endure the painful 'oh that looks nice' or 'had your hair done?' comments by the staff.

Unbearable, but has to be done.  When I moan to other women about this they all stare at me blankly. When I moan to men about it, they all wish I was their wife instead. 

Recently, I declined a free half day session at a day spa when a friend offered it to me, as she had booked it, but an emergency with her mums health stopped her attending.  I had no other reason to decline, other than I could not bear the thought of wasting half of my Saturday laying about being pampered.  I feel awkward, weird, and certainly not relaxed.  Give me a good book and half a day in bed and I will show you relaxed and pampered!

Apparently I am weird?

Renovation - Day 13

Final little bit of painting to do today, my new office.  Its only a small room, so wont take long.  Mr K and I have it working like clockwork, he cuts in and I roller.  First however we (as in Mr K) had to sand the filled patches.  Then it was my turn with the vacuum and a soft brush, to clean the walls.  Then a quick vacuum of the floor to get rid of any remaining dust.  A wash of the walls with sugar soap, let it dry and we are ready to start our painting engines.

Mr K starts by cutting in the cornices.  I let him get ahead (don't worry, I go and potter about in the laundry or kitchen while I wait for him) on the cutting in so he doesn't have to lean on wet walls.  Then he calls me, and I trot in, roller in hand and set to work.  Its really very therapeutic painting.  I love getting a good rhythm on, and I have a technique that really works.  Had a brief moment when I thought this might be fun as a career, but as I say, it was only brief.

It took us 1 hour 15 mins to completely paint the room.  Letting it dry, we got on with more sorting through stuff and putting it away.  It has been a very non stressful task - I just grab a box of stuff, or a pile of books and have a good look at each item.  Asking myself :

1. Do I really love it?
2. Does it make me smile or feel good?
3. Is it useful?
4. Will I use it in the next 12 months?
5. Can I access it in other ways? (like books that I can get on Kindle)
6. If I keep it, can I store it?

I culled all my magazines, having a strict rule that only magazines that are less than a year old get kept and as a new one comes in, an old one gets thrown out.  This was a hard one, as I love going through my magazines, and I do refer to them often.  But I kept up the mantra 'I will be able to find these ideas and inspirations online and of course on Pinterest'. 

About 4pm, my office was ready for its second coat, so we repeated the morning process and were washing up brushes and trays by 5pm.  It was wonderful to be able to put away all the painting gear in its proper place, having sorted out the shed.  Felt like we were real grown ups!

A friend called by and offered to cook dinner for us, which was lovely and very welcome.  Uncle J came over as well to check out the progress of his and Mr K's 'boys' room.  I think he approves.  The boys were in there, drinking and chatting away well after I headed for bed.  Its perfect - they get their space, and the rest of my house stays nice.

Tomorrow is the final day of our 'holidays' and the final rooms get new carpet.

My soon to be office, before painting

First Coat of paint.  Looks lighter already, new carpet will lighten it even more

Final coat.  Now to dry overnight